Written from the heart......
Many, if not all have walked through the ShatteredN2Pieces of brokeness...
Of Cross-dressing and its effects on them and their entire family.
I am just learning as I walk this path now too...
And I thank God....
For the people He has crossed in my pathway to give me strength and hope for a better tomorrow.
Thank you all for adding to this site much love and compassion through your words of love.
Never forget, through your hurts and sorrows....
bring strength and love to others!
May God continue to bless each one of you!!
Shattered N2 Pieces
This narrow path I walk on,
I do not walk alone.
Jesus leads in front of me,
and angels guard my back.
At times it's rough and hard to walk
but still I stumble through
knowing all the while
my Lord has been here too.
The wide road beside looks smooth and easy
still I choose the narrow path.
For God tells me to walk this way
and Him I will obey.
By: Diane Hilliard
Copyright (C) March 2003 ShatteredN2Pieces
Will this pain ever go away..............
My head pounds with a deep sorrow and loss.
As I remember the things you say...........
My heart breaks with your darts, at my cost.
The world seems to be closing in now.........
My veins thump with every beat of my heart.
God can you hear me calling some how?
This seperation is pulling us apart.
I cry out to you oh God...please hear?
The shadows are covering all around me.
Oh God, I know that you care,
Your purpose in this oh Lord, help me to see?
I have laid my toys down at your feet,
Bring to my mind Lord, what I may have forgotten?
Open the door where our hearts will meet.
Oh Lord, I feel so rotten!
I will not allow satan to get to me this way,
Take it all, take it all away if you must.
Oh dear God....to you this I pray.
Help me oh God.... in you, help me to trust?
How can you use such a mess?
I am so broken and torn.
God can I pass the test?
Some times I hate the day that I was born!
Yes, you will work this out in my life,
You will give me the strength to get through this.
When the pain cuts like a knife,
You will touch my heart with a kiss.
Comfort me oh God, I am falling its true,
Give me the strength and the love
that only comes from you.
I will hold my head high.....
I will look to you forever.
You will wipe the tears that I cry,
I will be alone, never.
When this world seems to be so dark within,
I will close my eyes and let the thoughts flow.
When losing seems to over come the strength to win,
I will remember, in the end...your victory will show!
Help me up Lord, I feel so weak.
The thoughts are flooding my mind.
Help me to hear you when you speak,
Create in this vessel something kind.
I leave my heart with you my Father,
Teach me to look to you in all things?
I know there is no other,
My heart is opened out, this to you I bring.
I love you God!
Copyright (C) ShatteredN2Pieeces Feb. 8, 2004
Am I only living in a shadow of someone's life...
Someone that I do not even know any more?
Where do the nights go....when I lay alone ,
How do I forget time when the heart is so broken?
When you touch me, I feel so loved,
I close my eyes and dream
You hold me so close...
My feelings are so confused
How I feel so abandoned and used
But you give me love
that I have never seen before
Can all this be so wrong?
I have waited and prayed
How I want someone to hold me
love me....need me, only me...to have eyes for only
me..
The days go into weeks
in my heart ... your love peaks
Tell me the things you do
In my mind, I wonder, how could this be true?
You call me presious.... it warms my heart
Have I fallen for another lie
Could this be true... you dont want us to be apart
When you tell me I am your angel......I feel so
high....enbraced with wings of love...
Your love wraps me up in the dark of the night
Where no harm can touch me
When I cry...you pull me close to you
How I long to be happy
When I am scared..... no where to turn
When the walls here only reflect my tears,
You hold me... you pickin me up
Is this a dream... maybe another nightmare?
How do I know...How can I be sure?
My mind is so afraid...my heart so shattered.
Just let me take my time..... please dont push.
Inside is not formed around your timing on things,
It is turmoil all through my life right now.
For one moment to be loved.. how can I say no?
My life is like a dried up pond... desires so much...
But has so little right now.
Hold me for the time we have right now....
Don't worry about tomorrow.... for us it may not
come.
But we have today.... like the breeze within the
tree's...
No one can hold it, but we know its there.
I thank you for filling much of this empty and
damaged vessel...
Today I woke up only to wonder... where will I be
today?
My hands grow old... my face wrinkled from the
age...
To be left alone... within a big world... that seems
to have little meaning now.....
Oh where has this life taken me? What has it taken
from me?
Thank you my friend...for putting a piece of life
back into me.
For giving me the time... that makes no sinse to me
now.
I place my hands within yours... hold them tight...
never let me go.
Like the air............its untouchable.........but we
know its there.
Like our lives together..... we cant touch them
together....
But we know...... there is a connection there.
God bless the untouchables!
Copyright © ShatteredN2Pieces
March 2004
It's not fair..that I lose half
of my house.
It is not fair..that I have to
leave.
It is not fair..that I have to
work so hard-to lose
everything now.
Its not fair...that you still
live in my home.
It is not fair.that my family
sees me losing everything
I have.
It is not fair...I have to
hear you crying every
night.
It is not fair..that you try
to turn the kids away from
me now.
Its not fair... that you want
me as a husband, when I
need to find myself.
It is not fair...I have to call
when I am running a little
late.
It is not fair..I cannot hang
my clothes in my closet.
Its not fair...that I have to
hide who I <think> I am.
I SAY...
Is it fair..that all my love
went into this
home.decorating,
cooking, cleaning, and
loving?
Is it fair..that all my
emotions and love grew
within these walls,
memories of my family
growing up here.
Thinking I would grow
old here with you?
Is it fair..that all these
years I too have worked
so hard to build this house
into a home. To be a safe
haven for our family.
Is it fair..for your family to
be kicked out of their
home..because of the
choices you have made?
Is it fair..that our family
and friends see us
homeless while you live
your secret life here?
I ask, Is it fair..?
Is it fair...that when I cry
from a hurtful word or
action you have chosen to
use..I should have to hold
my feelings inside and
hide the tears? Cuz, you
don't want to hear the
pain I feel right now?
Is it fair.that I get accused
of turning the children
away from you..When all
I ever do is hold them,
wipe their tears when they
talk about you. "For he
doesn't know what he is
doing.forgive him" I ask
is it fair that I hold their
pain along with mine
every day?
Is it fair..that we loved
each other so
deeply----lived a beautiful
life until one day, this dark
side came in.
You decided you had no
desires for me as a wife.
So many feelings just
stopped!
With every morning,
comes the question,
WHY?
And many times... It is
just not fair!
Is it fair..that all I see from
you now are
demands..harsh words...
loud remarks..
its all about YOU now..
I ask...
is this fair to us?
Is it fair..when I have
cooked a warm dinner,
some of your favorite
dishes...I wait, things are
getting cold..worry comes
to my mind.
They kids ask, is daddy
ok?
I go and put the food
away.
I ask YOU Is this fair?
Is it fair..when your son
confronts me with
"What is in the drive way?
It looks like panties"
My heart beats hard and
fast....
..For I knew what he has
seen.
How do I cover up or tell
him without hurting him....
or destroying what his
thoughts are of his dad?
Then once again, he sees
as you bend over in front
of him.
I once again, ask, is this
fair to us?
What must he be thinking
deep inside his mind now?
Is this fair..for me to move
out of my bedroom &
bathroom.
Even our son moved out
of the house.
Our house rules and our
lives totally changed
because of your choices.
Is it fair..you ask for us to
hide who you think you
are.
My friend, God did not
make you a woman....
Another thing....
You may think you are
hiding but you really are
not.
It is clear to the ones who
love and are around you...
You are changing....
.you are not acting like the
man I married.
You are not acting like the
dad my son once knew!
Maybe you are hiding...
However, not from what
you think you are.....
But maybe from the
MAN God made you to
be?
I look to the sky as I wipe
the tears rolling down my
cheeks..
I so often wonder-----
dose God ask..
IS THIS FAIR?
As God wipes the tears...
We all have a choice...
We bring a lot of pain on
ourselves.....
Please God begs, listen to
me my child......
I can save you so much
pain and sorrow.
I have made you into a
beautiful person.
Do not try to change what
I have made.
Slowly He looks down to
his nail scared hands..
Why, my children do you
ask
Is this fair?
Life is not fair!! But, at
least one day there will
be no more sin!
Follow me my child!
I will never leave you!
Nor forsake you!
Trust me....
Walk away from this ....
this thing that has you
bound!
Copyright (C) ShatteredN2Pieces March 2004
I woke up today feeling stronger,
Feeling stronger...for last night I prayed.
"Lord give me the strength
To stop dis-trusting you.
Give me the love that you
Have for your children with broken hearts.
Forgive me for my short comings,
And give me the will to forgive others theirs.
We are only a glance away from you Lord,
Keep us focused on YOU and not our problems.
And put the desire in my heart Jesus....
To reach out to you every day...before I start the day.
Without you, I could have nothing to wake up too.
I may not even wake up tomorrow,
Thank you Lord...for this day you have given me.
Thank you for the breath....my arms...my legs...my mind...my trials.
And most of all...thank you Jesus...
For going through the trials with me!"
Jesus will never leave you alone! He will carry you
when it seems so hard to move. We just have to look to Him.
And trust Him...At times, we may think things to be
impossable..... but God doesn't! With God we can do ALL things.
And I desire to have a heart filled with Jesus' love
And not the worlds "stuff" filling my heart, eyes, mind.
Change me Lord...into what YOU want me to be.
Take this empty vessel..... and create in me a vessel to be used to your
Glory.
Amen Amen Amen!
By Diane Hilliard
I've never liked roller coasters but now I
think I know why.
My life is a roller coaster so why should
I pay money to someone else to ride my
life.
Sometimes I'm at the top of the highest
hill hanging on the edge of a big drop.
Then I drop into depression again.
I fly into the corkscrew
or do loop the loops and my life seems
out of control...
But then the track staightens out
And I'm back to going up the hill.
Sometimes it is a fast ride...
But other times it's slow.
Occasionally it's dark like an enclosed
ride.
Most times it's loud and noisy from
the cars on the rails or the whoosh sound
of life going by in a blur.
I'm saved by one thing alone....
God's my safety harness.
Through all the twists and turns......
ups and downs....
God is there with me.
The harness of His precious love holds
me firm to the track of
life and keeps me safe.
Sometimes I hang on to that harness
screaming my lungs out.
Other times the harness hangs on to me
to keep me from flying out of the seat.
For me though the ride never stops.
Sure it may slow down and become a
kiddie coaster....
But it never completely stops.
In my life so far I've ridden the
equivalent of dozens of roller coasters.
More than my fair share...
I'd say.
I've often called out "Hey, stop the ride,
I wanna get off!" So next
time you want me to ride a roller coaster
I'll politely tell you...
"No Thanks.......
I'm on my own roller coaster every day."
Copyright © May 2002 ShatteredN2Pieces
The gateway to the mind is through the eyes,
Always fill the mind with good things.
When the eyes behold worldly lusts and forms strong desires...who's
heart cries,
Do we really see what Sin now brings?
Watching from the distance....sitting in awe of love,
Seeing the smiles, the elderly holding hands.
There is a love that lives here..... that God created above,
A little child's face.....this word we call "love".....can they really
understand?
Will this word "love" break their hearts too one day?
I'm sure!
Will the worlds "sin" take over there minds and hearts?
I pray not!
Will the meaning of someone else's pain touch them in some way?
Is it true, that sin begins as soon as life starts?
How then, do we keep our focus on our only hope?
When love dies and looks more to the world for pleasure.
When waking up starts to be a "lesson learned" to cope,
When the meaning of life, you are now not sure?
What is counseling to the human heart?
Is it words from another well learned human being? A letter from a
friend?
When does healing start?
When does this pain really end?
I thank God for the people He places in my pathway,
And I count them as true blessings.
But "time" and the "love of God" is the only answer I find,
To be a "hope" through each one of these very dark days.
This morning I wake up from a weary sleep,
Tears running down my cheeks.....I wipe them and start my day.
The thoughts of the people I seen yesterday..... into my mind they creep,
Many of them are "happy" and "in love" in some way.
The love I thought I once had,
I will leave at Jesus' feet now.
While this heart feels so broken and sad,
I know God can heal somehow!
Its been a long road dear Jesus,
There have been many hidden tears.
But I know one thing Jesus,
The most important one, cares!
When I find myself asking why?
And the dark corners wrap around me so tight.
The nights drown me with the tears I cry,
I know you are there with me through every lonely night!
You reach for me....as you too, wipe the tears from my eyes,
Thank you Jesus for loving me with a "real" unbroken love.
I know you will continue to pick me up when its so hard for me to try,
And my hope is not in this world, but in the creator of the one above!
Where are the tears coming from?
When will this heart heal?
I remember the love songs sung,
And in your arms.....oh how "love" I did feel.
But this life has a way of hurting the ones we say we love,
I don't hold it against you......"I love you".
But our trust and focus must be in the one above,
Please pray for me.....and I do pray for you!
Jesus be with us.....
Amen!
Copyright (C) Shatteredn2Pieces May 2004
Lord, I feel so weak,
How can I wipe these tears from my eyes?
Oh Lord, its your face that I seek,
Only you Lord, know the hours I've cried.
Hold me and never let me go,
Give me the hope that only you can?
There is more to life, this I know,
Take these sorrows that I cannot
understand?
Help me not to fall Lord, I pray,
It feels so close at times.
In this home, I may not be able to stay,
Lord, help me find a home that could be
mine.
Fill my home with your love and joy,
Teach me how to love the way YOU love.
Help me not to fall for all the worlds toys,
Help me to stay focused on heaven above.
It seems to be getting hard to hold on now,
My mind wonders so far.
But I love you and how,
Oh how I pray to be where you are!
This world is so full of sin,
Please keep me in your arms of love
Jesus?
At times, it feels as though we just cannot
win,
To overcome...... Having you in our hearts
Jesus..... is a must!!!!
I will overcome.....
I will not allow satan to win!
I know where these feelings come from,
Satan wants me to sin!
I will not hurt my God who is there always,
Who holds me up and cares for me.
No matter how long the days,
In my heart is where Jesus will always be!
I LOVE YOU JESUS!!
I NEED YOU JESUS!!
I TRUST YOU JESUS!!
AMEN!!
Copyright (C) Shattered N2 Pieces Jan. 2004
Sometimes its hard to find the words that are within your heart,
You know they are there, but hidden so deep.
The little girl that waits for comfort.... and a new start,
No one sees her tears as she weeps.
So far away and many years ago,
She remembers the time when she was loved.
Life as it is now, hold only empty feelings that show,
To save her, there must be a God above!
Like a pebble that skips over the waters of blue,
She longs for a life with love only for her.
Will that love just skip her by like on the waters... the pebbles do?
She crys out in pain and lonliness,
Where are you God?
What was once in her life.... she now misses.
Where are you God?
Life has become so confusing and broken,
Words that use to be said...
With meaning, are no longer spoken.
Oh how the thoughts swirl inside my head.
Where are you God?
The waters are going over my head.
Its getting close... and I feel like giving up now,
Oh God, where are you? Show me somehow.
If I am to be alone... take me there,
Living this way is killing me.
Oh God show me that someone cares,
Fix this life the way you want it to be!
Let me be loved or let me be alone,
Again, heal this broken heart.
Help me to carry on.
Copyright (c) May 22, 04 ShatteredN2Pieces
I tried so hard to tell myself you dont love
me,
You walk through this house we use to call
"home".
Faded memories that flash thorugh my
mind of what use to be,
Oh if only you knew....here within I feel so
very alone!
I fight these feelings every day from
morning to night,
these eyes cry so many tears, still, I hold
you high in my heart.
Oh how I beg, God this is just not fair...this
pain is not right,
I pull back the walls of your heart,then I see
deep inside..you want a new start.
Where did we go wrong,
Why did this happen to our marriage?
This nightmare has lasted so very long,
Why can't we patch this damage?
Even though you are still with me here,
The fact is that I have been alone all along.
Where did the feelings go that use to show
you cared?
Oh in this heart...this life feels so empty
and wrong.
When the thoughts come to me,
That you may not be in my life tomorrow....
I look up to the sky...Oh God, how can this
be?
Then, here comes the unbearable,
life-shattereing sorrow!
For in my life.... I now see that you are
really gone,
I will find a box to pack all my memories
away.
All the happiness I thought would last for
so long,
Are crushed by the actions you act out
today!
I tried so hard... to work this marriage out,
The tears were true... formed by the
feelings deep inside.
As I let go, in my heart I know I have
tried..without a doubt,
I now realize... you are unable to feel the
tears I've cried.
You have no idea of the loss I feel,
How can you...you are living a different
life-stlye now.
How I take my promises and vows so very
real,
But,I will try to let go...forget how I loved
you, needed you....some how!
Copyright (C) ShatteredN2Pieces July 2004
The words flow onto the paper
as fast as the tears fall,
Wiping the tear drops as the pen
glides from side to side.
Remembering the love from my
father as he would call,
When I was doing wrong, I
remember the times I would hide.
But he would never leave my
side...even when I was in the
wrong,
He would hold me and share his
strength...loving me forever.
Looking back now, I see his
love still...wrapping me in his
arms,
Even though he is gone, his love
won't fade...no never!
I will reach for my Heavenly
Fathers love now,
Feeling this loss that I cant seem
to face.
Days I wonder and wish I knew
just how,
Oh how life gives us this
saddened and hurtful pace.
But with the hurt, comes the
love of God,
He will never walk away from us.
So many times I have cried out
"Oh my God",
Please help your child to trust?
He reaches down His hand in
my mind,
I reach for it...tears rolling down
my face its true.
Oh only here is where the
comfort is I find,
Your words flow...I find
uncondition love from only you!
Thank you God...for never
leaving me!
Thank you God for your word
that flows.
Thank you God for helping me
to see,
Thank you God for giving me
your love, it shows!
Copyright (C) Shattered N2 Pieces Aug. 2002
Is there a way to find who is inside?
Would I know her if I were to meet her?
Is she scared, lonely...why does she try to hide?
Would I know her if I were to meet her?
As she sits huddled tightly holding her knees to her chest,
Would I know her if I were to meet her?
As she rocks with the tears she caresses,
Would I know her if I were to meet her?
What is the meaning of the thoughts that speed within?
How do the feelings form..... that hurt her so?
Could there be thoughts of a little girl...waving good bye to her
friend,
The tears reaching and begging, please don't go!
Could it be the love....that faded or walked away?
How would I know if I seen her?
The distance between love and a broken heart...is short they
say.
How would I know her if I seen her?
There is one who will always hold her!
There will always be one..... that would know her when He
sees her.
He knows the hurts and sorrows and broken dreams.... for
sure.
He knows all the dreams that once were.
I pray to Jesus that He will teach me to know her,
To teach me how to show her the way to let go.
To give all tears and broken promises of hers,
To the only one who knows every thing about her!
He reaches down His hands of love,
To draw the heart-broken child unto Himself.
Oh my child, I know you and hold you above,
Please give your heart to me, I will teach you how to love!
There is no need to be afraid,
Know that I am here
And I hear the prayers that you've prayed.
I do care!
And I do know you when I see you,
And there is hope.
I can teach you what is true,
I can teach you how to cope!
As the little girl wipes the tears,
She reaches to the clouds.
And sees a rainbow.... and knows someone does care...
Its Jesus, she yells so very loud!
You are my best friend,
To you I never have to say goodbye.
You will lift me up and hold me til the end,
You will wipe the tears that I cry.
You do know me!
Copyright (c) ShatteredN2Pieces July 2004
What is real.....what is just a dream.....
Would you catch me if I fall?
When life changes..... will things be the
way they seem?
Hand the tears over to me....
I carry them very well.
They are hidden for none to see....
Within this heart... a living hell.
Tomorrow..will bring new fears...
Looking back...my days seemed so long.
You, my friend....I thank God you
care....
Within my thoughts.. you belong.
Copyright (C) Shatteredn2pieces April 15, 2005
Memories are for those who love,
Time is for those who share.
Commitment is for those who love God above,
Marriage is something that IS...even when at
times, love is not there.
To walk beside...not ahead or behind,
But to feel the pain and sorrow...
To be able to say I'm sorry...and to become kind,
To never go to sleep with anger...for it will still be
there tomorrow.
Always know..that as many times as we forgive
others,
Our heavenly Father forgives us as well.
Always know..in this life..with one hurt, there
always comes another,
But with Gods help we can hold together what
God put together..
it doesn't have to be like a living hell.
What happens when we throw in the towel now?
We go on living the single life..doing our own
things.
We learn to become selfish and feelingless some
how.
Oh where were the happy times that God brings?
Did we give them all away for just a space of
time?
To live what we call happiness?
Is this what we will search and find?
Or will there be a longing deep down in our hearts
that we will always miss?
A broken dream..a broken vow..a broken heart,
Its so easy to lay all things aside now and go on.
Yesterday we were together..years later..we live
apart,
These memories for me will always live on.
No matter how far... how long ... or if I never see
you again,
There will be a sound, a smell, a picture of
mountains, that will take my thoughts back to you.
No one could ever take from me what once had
been,
Far away..you will find your dreams..while my
love here will always hold true!
But even though you will never know,
I will go on now some how.
Every prayer will start and end with you...
For God to heal my heart for when you had to go.
This is the only hope for me now.
In this heart..the good memories will never fade.
You will go on as if you have never been touched
by love.
And maybe it wasn't love for you that we made.
One day, my question will be "WHY" God above?
I loved him so much...I would have grown
old with only him its true.
I would have given my life for his to be ok.
Oh God.. now I leave this all to you,
Be with him and keep him safe, this I pray!
signed: XX TEARS that no one will see XX
(Only God)
I've been thinking of you and me,
And how things at one time used to be.
The good times, fun times, bad times too,
All that's happened between me and you.
Which one of us, dear, moved away?
You say it is me who didn't stay.
You say, I did it! I was bad,
I made your life so very sad.
I couldn't tolerate this thing you did,
And you said, From this thing you'd never be rid.
But that thing stayed with you constantly,
That thing showed up between you and me.
That thing drove you to a different truth,
A vain philosophy not taught in your youth.
That thing brought heartache like I never knew,
And you said it was just a quirk in you.
That thing brought me tears, pain and grief,
And now I finally get relief.
That thing made you feel defensive toward me,
So that I became your enemy.
I was no helpmeet, that thing met your need,
And I was the one who did the bad deed.
I hated that thing, I was jealous of it,
But from it you swore you would never quit.
That thing gave you comfort, security,
That thing made you turn away from me.
That thing provided your warmth in bed,
And made me feel like I was dead.
That thing possessed your soul and mind,
And I was the one who was left behind.
That thing is still your one true love,
It even replaces our God above.
But then you say that it is me
Who caused the problem constantly.
I've been too perfect, demanding and hard
Nothing from the Bible would I disregard.
I'm black and white with absolute truth,
I've believed this way from my youth.
You want me to embrace this part of your life
That causes us pain, struggle and strife.
It hurts for you to suggest to me,
That this thing's to be accepted peaceably.
This thing that has caused me so much pain,
And would turn around and hurt me again.
It is another woman that I cannot touch
Who seems to possess you so very much.
You want me to let her into my bed,
While I'm with you, she makes love in your head.
She's prettier than I am, more exciting too,
She's created this distance between me and you.
So off in the night with her you will ride,
No more will you ever be by my side.
So who left who? Was it you or me,
Goodbye my dear, I will let you go free.
-Lamentation of a crossdresser's wife
Copyright (C)
Shatteredn2Pieces March 21,
2005
To reach out... hold and touch
you-
I would give any thing
To let you know I love you like
I do-
its like your not there..and to my
eyes... tears are all you bring.
It doesn't make no difference its
true,
Memories are faded within this
heart.
Dreams and times spent with
only you,
I must not look back, but now,
I must make a new start.
But when I see you---its like a
lost little boy,
Like a shattered and broken
glass.....
A child who crys for his lost
toys,
This boy who is living within his
hurtful past.
To reach out to you--as I wipe
the tears
And I know this distance that I
now feel is real.
I know God will help and heal
all my fears
At least I know these feelings I
feel.
For you I pray and hold you up
to God above,
With people at times--there is
not much hope
But with God there is
uncomprehendable love,
And with His love-He will give
us the strength to cope.
One day we may not be
husband and wife,
Things will change in our
surroundings I'm sure.
Never forget--at one time you
were very important to my life,
But today- God is my hearts
cure!
Copyright (C) Shatteredn2pieces March 16, 05
What triggers our thoughts in our mind,
How do we react to them, without hurting others?
How long will this go on, how much time,
My heart hurts to let go of my husband, for another.
Where is the love that I once thought was there?
How can someone change like night and day?
What do I do with these feelings of care,
Oh God be with my husband, I pray!
It will soon be all over now,
He will walk a new life.
He will learn of the things he wants some how
And within his heart, he has said goodbye to his wife.
She is just a thing in the space of time,
He has changed so much...that he has no good memories.
To him, there is greater things out there to find,
And within her shattered and broken heart..he will always be!
Protect him God, keep him safe as he lives his life,
Help me heal as I let go of the most important love in my life now.
One day, clear his mind so that he might remember his wife?
And remind him of how much I did so care some how.
Forgive me God if I took the wrong road in this adventure,
I never wanted to hurt anyone, nor lose my husband.
This marriage was from you I believe for sure,
The things that went wrong, I just don't understand!
I find myself waking up alone,eating alone,
surrounded by the quiet sounds,
To get inside his head.. my husband must be in there somewhere.
There was so much hurt and sorrows...
but never enough to just toss it all to
the ground.
I pray that where ever you end up,
at the end..there will be someone who
really for you cares!
The woman who took my husband, seems so cold and heartless,
How can that be the one you want to be?
It is so clear that this is one of satans test,
Oh my God, why can't he see?
No matter where you go,
One thing will always be.
Even though, its something I won't be able to show,
My love for you, was when I set you free!